Not sure what to say anymore...

I've had others ask why I'm not keeping up with my Blog.  And I can honestly say it's cause I'm not sure what to write about.  I'm kinda at a point here that I'm a little confused about things and just not sure what to write or should I say what I can write without getting negative comments or people thinking I'm bashing on Sweden.   I've recently written a few status updates on Facebook and it became very apparent people will read them and respond however they see fit.  I'm struggling with this in so many ways! You see the thing is I'm in Sweden...yes it's a very lovely country and yes there are many great things about it but also yes this is not my home and yes I am still struggling.  Yes, there are differences and it's okay!!!  I feel that I have been stripped of just being able to say how I feel without carefully scripting what I say/write in concern that others will take it out of context.

Is it giving up???

Well, we are basically right back at the same point we were 7 months ago.   All packed up and ready to load all our bags and hop on the plane.  Only this time back to Colorado.  I'm super excited to go home or should I say I should be....but for some reason I have this heavy feeling of "should we have pushed though that 6 month mark" and did we give up too fast and what if we were supposed to be here and what if we are walking away from Gods calling on our lives so many what ifs.  Don't get me wrong, I do want to move home!  I just hate the feeling of thinking I might have caused us to shut a door on something God had in mind for us!

Black socks and Birkenstocks

So I've now been here about three months.  Kids are in school and have been adjusting well.  Like I've said before..I have GREAT kids!  ;).  I am extremely thankful for the faculty of the school we chose for our children.  They have gone over and above to make us feel welcome and comfortable.  And if you know me, you know that the kids and their school were a huge concern for me.  But as always God is so good and always faithful!  I myself am adjusting better each day as well.  Like I said God is good and He is my comfort.  :). Plus lately I have found myself really wanting to enjoy every aspect of Sweden.  And with that said, we hope to fill our weekends with some fun exploring!  So, I will try to keep the pictures coming but in the meantime I thought it'd be fun to share some pics of some things you might only see in Sweden. :). 

Kids have "inside" shoes for school.  

A mushroom we saw on a walk in the woods by our home.  Fairy tale looking right?!?  

Viking stones almost everywhere.

Viking burial hills

Food in a tube.  ;).  

Falukorv...it's actually really good.  Kinda tastes like a big hotdog.  

Massive amounts of all kinds of cheese EXCEPT for orange cheddar cheese like we have in the U.S.  I haven't found a substitute for that kind of cheese yet.  :)

Castles and churches everywhere.  Beautiful ehh?!?  

What were we thinking?!?

I must admit the thought "what were we thinking" had been part of my thoughts almost every second of every day.  Okay maybe not that much.  But still....I have to say I have been pretty home sick.  Don't get me wrong Sweden is beautiful and has many great things about it but when you miss almost everything about home nothing compares.  And I do mean nothing.  Haha!  But from what I understand being home sick is kinda the norm and they say give or take 6-8 months to adjust.  Let me tell ya though it can really wear a girl out...and her husband.  Lol.  It's all just so different and right now different is...for lack of a better word...annoying.  Ha!  I'm hoping that once life really starts then it will start to feel more like home.  Kids start school in a week and a half.  They say they are excited.  Mostly they want some friends.  That makes me happy but also breaks my heart at the same time.  I, on the other hand am having anxiety about them starting school.  Ha!  We went and talked to the principal where the kids will be going to school and this mom right here had a complete melt down.  Pretty soon I'll be known as the Crying American mom.  Lol.  The thought of all that the kids are going to have to go through these next couple of months just eats at me.  Mostly because we brought them here and put them in this place.  We chose this for them. They didn't... I know they say kids adapt easy but as a mom I can't help thinking like this.  They after all are my babies.  

Johan also leaves for Kenya here soon and that will be mine and the kids first time alone here.  I'm excited for him!  A little jealous he gets to go and I don't.  Haha!  But excited to be reminded why God has brought us here.  There were a few weeks here that I just was so extremely home sick I didn't even want to pray cause I just wanted to go home.  I didn't want to hear God tell me He brought us here and everything would be okay.  Seriously!  Ha!  I know we are here for a reason though and I know God will use our faithfulness to bless others.  Doesn't mean His path is always the easiest but it does mean it's the most rewarding.   He has it covered and so one thing I know I need to focus on the positives and be thankful everyday for where he has us and how he will use us for his glory!  

Proverbs 3:5 

Our little red house

So we're here, we made it!  We've been here for a little over a week now.  Almost adjusted to the time difference but the whole thing with it being light out so long is sure messin with me!  Ha!  We left Virginia June 29th at 7:30 am and landed in Sweden June 30th at 6:30 am (12:30 am virgina time).  Flight went great granted I had like zero sleep!  Ha!  I must say the kids did great!  And not to toot my own horn but I do have some amazing kids.  :). 

So, like I said we've been here now for a little over a week.   Trying to get our house as homey feeling as soon as possible but that's definitely harder when the stores you are used to are no where in sight.  We have however made several trips to ikea!  Which by the third time wasn't as thrilling as the first.  Lol. But I'm sure we will be back there...:).

Anyway, many have asked to see our house we are renting here in Sweden so here's a few pics.  Enjoy!  We sure are!  ;)

Back of the house

View of the front of the house

Living room

Dining

Bathroom (not sure why you would need three headrests in a tub but ya know...)

We have a flusher for #1 and #2. ;)

Owen and Madison's room

Sophia's room

Bathroom in the hall... Yes there is a shower in there.  :)

Our new ride

The journey begins

8 XL suitcases, 4 carry on's, 4 personal items, 2 car seats, 1 stroller, 3 kids, and 1 me....What was I thinking?!?!

So we left colorado...Johan and my sweet friend Kristen and kids dropped us off.  It's been a bitter sweet time.  As my oldest would say lots of cry fests.  Haha!   So extremely excited for what's in store for us in Sweden but never easy to say bye to family and friends. 

 We took about a month pit stop in virginia to visit my family while Johan heads over by himself to get a few things settled before the kids and I head over.  We've been having a blast here!!! Hard to believe we leave in less then a week AND we are actually moving to Sweden!  One of those things that seem like we've been talking and praying about for forever.  Hard to believe it's actually gonna happen.  So with that said if you pray be sure to say one for me when I once again board the plane(s) along with my 8 XL suitcases, 4 carry on's, 4 personal items, 2 car seats, 1 stroller, 3 kids, and 1 me!  😁😳👍. I got this!

Sweet Precious Aline

Around two years ago we sat down at the computer and decided we wanted to sponsor a child with Compassion.  Let me tell you if I could I would sponsor each and everyone of them!  It is insanly hard to sit there and choose just one.  But in the end we went with a precious little girl named Aline.  She lives in Rwanda and at the time when we chose her we picked a place that we thought was one of the most remote and challenged places.  We also chose her because of her birthday being 10 days before Madisons and thought that it would be fun for Madison to eventually write letters to her.  Never thinking we would ever go on a Compassion sponsor trip anyway and definitely wouldn't ever go to Rwanda.  But little did we know...

When Johan was in the process of talking with the CEO of Compassion Scandinavia they were discussing taking Johan and I on an exposure trip to see the field and see Compassion in motion.  They like for the spouse to go at least once but I can tell you this....that will definitely not be my last trip!!!  As they were trying to figure out when would be the best time for us to go as far as baby sitters for the kids etc.  The CEO mentioned they had a trip end of April they were already going on and if that would work for us that would be great for them and that they would be going to Rwanda.  Johan said his jaw just dropped!  He couldn't believe that out of all places they were going to Rwanda!  It worked great for us to go (thanks to the grandparents and friends for watching the kiddos) and needless to say was one of the most amazing experiences of my life!  They had a special day set aside for all the sponsors and their child to meet and get to play.  What a great day that was for me!  Meeting sweet little Aline for the first time was a moment I won't forget.  She was definitely shy at first but ended up opening up alittle towards the end.  It was fun to see her enjoying herself and seeing and experiencing things for the first time.  I am looking forward to meeting her again one day!  

It still just amazes me the things God will orchestrate!  I mean really what are the chances?!  I speak not just for myself but for Johan as well that the week we spent in Rwanda was such a blessing to us!  I loved being able to meet Aline!  I enjoyed seeing Compassion in motion and the lives they touch!  Because truely Compassion not only touches the lives of the children being sponsored but their families, and their communities.  I loved meeting the mothers and their babies, all the children and all the teens that have gone through the compassion program!  They were all just so welcoming and loving!  And their life stories are amazing to listen to!  

All and all it was such an amazing week in SO many ways!!!  I am looking forward to getting to go with Compassion again someday!!!  And am so thankful for the time spent in Rwanda with Compassion!